Monday, June 27, 2016

Quote of the Week


Spent the better part of two days making a clam shell costume for daughter's dance camp, theme Under the Sea.

Daughter was super excited.

Walked into camp on the first day, spotted a sea of mermaids. Daughter immediately tossed clam shell costume and declared, "I don't want to be a clam shell anymore. I want to be a mermaid."

Ugh

Friday, June 24, 2016

Quote of the Week

"I can't wait until I'm a parent to boss my kids around and stop them from having fun."
-Stinky Marinky

[Yeah, that's what I do all day.]

Monday, June 20, 2016

In Honor of Father's Day


I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I firmly believe that Moms get the short end of the stick in the Kid Appreciation Department. Why? Take my household on any given weekday.

After dealing with their antics taking care of Stinky and Blinky all day, Daddy glides in about 6pm just in time to be Fun Daddy. In most cases, homework has been completed (five-alarm-fire-stress with Stinky), dinner has been eaten (the menu dictates the level of stress which falls anywhere between peaceful and dear God where did these children come from?!?) and baths have been taken (following a lengthy, philosophical discussion about why baths are required every single day). So when the DH comes home, there’s almost a renewed sense of energy about him that seeks out his offspring to connect with for the two hours before bedtime.

“Daddy, can I read to you while you hold this My Little Pony parasol over me for half an hour?”

“Sure sweetie, there’s nothing I’d rather do.”

“Daddy, can we build an electrical switch using my snap connector set?”

“You got it son! And when we’re done with that, let’s make a working doorbell and ring it incessantly.”

Or my favorite…

“Hey kids, lets wrestle on the carpet and get all riled up right before we put you to bed.”

How do I compete with that when all I can do at this point is sit on the sofa with my feet up to ease the pain of standing for the last five hours?

Stinky and Blinky don’t yet understand that Mommy works part-time so that I pick them up from school and care for them as only I could. I comfort them with encouraging words and life skills when John Doe steals their snack money or Jane Doe is being really hurtful with her words. And I kiss the boo-boos away. Even the icky ones that require stitches and tetanus shots. Daddy does this too, but not as often simply because of the fact that he works longer hours (out of the house anyway). So when he does any of these things, it’s important, more special. {Sigh}

I don’t think they care that it’s Mommy who takes them to the library to get the very same books that are more fun to read to Daddy. After all, he makes the funny sounds and noises better. They’ve forgotten that I taught them to read and sat [mostly] patiently as each painful blend was sounded out in the longest amount of time possible.

Ever heard of a thing called extra-curricular activities? Well, Mommy specializes in it and can juggle any permutation of ballet, gymnastics, softball, baseball, tennis, soccer, cub scouts and swim lessons. Summers are planned out in February with a healthy mix of learning and fun and carpooling to the nth degree. (That’s my super power. What’s yours?) But Daddy coaches teams. He gets to make important calls on the field and it’s his voice they are tuned to listen to in the midst of the madding crowd.

At home, somehow I manage to cook a nutritious meal, stealthily squeezing in extra fiber for Blinky’s constipation and acetic acid for Stinky’s leg cramps, while simultaneously watching a back-bend walkover and ducking errant nerfs. But when Daddy brings home Krispy Kreme donuts leftover from a meeting, its cause to celebrate.

The clothes they find in their drawers everyday are clean and folded because while watching Devious Maids last night, I thought to myself, “Self, surely there is something else you can do while you watch tv. Idle hands are the devil’s work.” But Daddy fixes the washing machine. In fact Daddy fixes everything with his cool, manly, uber important tools when our machines act up and in their reality, that’s way more important than having clean clothes after taking the aforementioned dreaded shower in the first place.

I’m creative and can help them decorate their big kid rooms, meshing their style with mine, scoring deals like nobody’s business. But Daddy is a programmer and brings home lots of neat doo-dads from conferences like infrared controllers and light-up stress balls which we’ve managed to live without all their lives but are now suddenly essential to our bare existence.

And sweet Jesus can I break up a fight. (I wonder if the neighbors ever hear me when I go all Disciplinary Mom on their asses.) I get in there grabbing flailing limbs and transforming myself into a human shield in a matter of seconds because this is the quickest, most effective way to prevent someone from getting hurt. I admit, it’s not pretty. The DH’s method? Calmly yell say, “Quit it!” and the little people immediately fall in line like soldiers at training camp.

I know that one day I’ll be Dear Mommy instead of Disciplinary Mommy, or You Never Let Me Have Any Fun Mommy, or But Blinky Never Gets in Trouble Mommy or Let Me Pick Some Random Argument with My Mommy Mommy. I know they’ll understand the sacrifices Mommy’s made for them both personally and financially. And I know the time will come for them to ask my advice about the very same things their little Stinkys and little Blinkys will drive them crazy over. But for now, I’ll just have to accept that the DH is the cool one. The DH is Sofia’s first love. The DH is Eddie’s hero. But lucky for me the DH is also mine and I had him first. J Ha!

For those of you who are interested in the DH’s side of the story, don’t worry, he’s writing his own version called, “Why is Mommy their favorite when I’m the fun one?”

Friday, May 27, 2016

Quote of the Week

This Quote of the Week comes from one of Stinky's baseball coaches.

"Everything you need to know about life, you learn from playing baseball."

He went on to explain that baseball teaches you to be a team player, work hard, appreciate the support of your family and friends and to never give up. Well said.

May

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May has been such a busy month for us, and it's not over yet. Can you believe I officially have a second and third grader? Crazy! Anyway, let me share a few May highlights.

Blinky had her ballet recital which was as cute as could be. This was her third recital but the first one in which their teacher did not dance on stage with them. Blinky didn't miss a beat. She has gained such confidence and poise performing on stage. I am looking forward to seeing her grow as a ballet dancer.

Cub Scouts wrapped up with an epic end of year party at one of the cub's family's lake house. The boys rode paddle boats, fished and played football until their little hearts were content. It was so sweet of the parents to host it for us and certainly something the boys will remember.

Then there were Field Days at school. Blinky won the softball throw in her class. She was thrilled! Stinky didn't place but enjoyed the races and socializing with his friends. It was more of a fun day than a competition for him and that's ok.

Softball wrapped up next with Blinky's team winning their final game. Woot! Their year-end record is 5-4. This was Blinky's first year playing and she's a little ambivalent about softball. However, she made a few sweet friends which made her look forward to the games. I hope she decided to play again next year. Now that she has a little experience under her belt I think she will enjoy the game more.

Awards Day was next. Blinky made the A Honor Roll and placed seventh in her grade for Accelerated Reader. Stinky also made the A Honor Roll, placed sixth in his grade for Accelerated Reader, won an Art award for a watercolor painting and Physical Education award. While pleased they maintained A's this year, both were a little disappointed that they didn't place higher in Accelerated Reader. I gently reminded them that they gave it their all. After some very long days, both would make time to read one more book before bed. They may not have made their goal of top three, but the DH and I could not be more pleased of their accomplishments and determination.

Finally Stinky's baseball season wrapped last night. His team had been the underdogs all year but we have seen personal growth in Stinky. His hits were remarkably better, as was his fielding. But of course, baseball is a team sport. Everyone has to play well and together for a team to win. Some games were rough with us lagging 20 points. There were also a few questionable calls which we had no explanation for. Earlier in the season Stinky said, "Mom, I just want to make it home one time." I had to fight tears. But last night, redemption came. It was a tense game that went into overtime. In the space of about 30 minutes, the score was 8-0, 8-4, 8-8. Stinky went up to bat and MADE HIS FIRST HOMERUN EVER!!! As Stinky ran to the dugout with the biggest grin ever, one of the coaches lifted him in the air. But it wasn't over yet. The game was now tied at 10-10. After a few more plays, we were at the bottom half of the sixth and last inning. We had one on base, two out and one up to bat with two strikes. You could hear a pin drop. The ball left the pitching machine, our player swung and hit a fly ball over third base. After the player on base made it home the umpire called the game at 11-10 us! You have never seen so many moms jumping up and down cheering like we were. It was a joyous event! We ended the season 3-10 but what I pray those boys take from last night is that they never gave up and sheer drive pushed them on to win.

Whew, I think that covers the highlights. We have a few weeks of downtime before summer hits full swing. While the kids are enrolled in several summer day camps, I am looking forward to relaxing evenings with them. The grandparents will be here soon as we have a few trips planned. But I think what I'm most excited about is...no homework!!! :)

Friday, May 20, 2016

Quote of the Week

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At pick-up yesterday, Stinky gets into the car and says, "Mommy, I want to be the kind of student my school can be proud of." *Mic drop*

He'll never fully understand how proud he made me in that moment. Especially after having to meet with his teacher earlier in the week about him being mischievous in class. Please Lord, hear his prayer.

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Psalm 37:4