Thursday, September 1, 2016

Homework, Ugh! I Mean Homework, YAY!

What is it about homework that makes our somewhat normal household crazier than a run over dog? I don’t get it. By now the little people know that for 10 months out of the year, they’re going to have to sit in our highly organized and professionally decorated office at our cramped dining table four nights a week and get it done whether they want to or not. If only they would process and apply this little nugget of wisdom, how much simpler our lives could be.

Look, I’ve been eight and seven before and know that homework can be a drag sometimes. Especially when it’s pretty out and you’d rather be scaling the walls of the playhouse or bike racing down our hilly street. But even I’ve come to develop a love / hate relationship with homework. It’s a necessary evil little people, and the sooner you stop the whining and complaining, the sooner we can all be done with it. Especially me!
At parent-teacher night, our second-grade teacher mentioned that the kids are now old enough to do their homework unsupervised. Not sure which kids she was referring to but certainly not mine. I tried that last year, and for a brief moment, I thought I saw the light. I saw a light alright. I saw the blinding white light of a colossal migraine which followed an epic two-hour torture session of something that should have taken ¼ of the time. So it seems for the time being I’m glued at the hip to the little people.

I’ve tried multi-tasking by way of listening to spelling words being recited as I prepare dinner. It took about a full minute before I realized my son spells pumpkin t-h-i-s-s-u-c-k-s. Now, I prep dinner the night before or during my lunch break.

Like many of my other mom friends, I have unashamedly resorted to the occasional bribe. I learned that sweet treats work well for #2 but #1 is a shrewd little negotiator. He is clearly more skilled in this area than me and I was forced to find other methods when I was unable to decode the lengthy verbal contracts he would come up with detailing the conditions of the bribe. #whoisschoolingwhom

Already this year my alter-ego Homework Mommy made an appearance. I am not proud. She is quite different from the emotionally stable, patient and kind, regular version of myself. How so? Let’s not get into specifics. Suffice it to say I’m working on a way to dump her and am taking suggestions.
Talking with other Moms always makes me feel better. Some have eerily similar experiences (could this all be part of a bigger conspiracy) while others have their own issues to work through with their little people. In any event, we all love our children dearly, and because we do we are ready to go to war again tonight. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to Google some permutation of “How to Make Homework Fun While Keeping Your Cool.”

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